I.
Thomas the disciple is a legend, a proverb, even a cliché.
"Doubting Thomas" we call him, remembering this story from John's Gospel. "I'm just a doubting Thomas" we say of ourselves. Or, "Now I don't want to sound like a doubting Thomas, but . . . "
Fair enough, of course. Thomas does have doubts in this story, and one good way to read the story is to emphasize the doubts.
"Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails, and my hand in his side, I will not believe."
Doubting Thomas.
But there is also a different way to read the story, another angle that I think is also fair to the text.
Disappointed Thomas.
Listen to the familiar verses but with slightly different emphasis:
"When it was evening on that day, and the doors were locked, where most of the disciples had met, Jesus came and stood among them and said, ‘Peace be with you.' After this he showed them his hands and his side. Then his disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord.
"But Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. That is why the other disciples said to him, WE have seen the Lord." But Thomas said, "Unless I get to see the mark of the nails in his hands and I get to put my finger in the mark of the nails, and I get to put my hand in his sides, I will not believe."
If we hear the story this way, the tone of the ten disciples who were fortunate enough to see the risen Jesus at the first meeting is all too familiar. "WE have seen the Lord—where were you?"
"Look what Mommy gave me!" our sibling gloated.
"My Daddy's taking ME to the ball game," boasted our so-called friend.
Maybe it's not doubting Thomas but disappointed Thomas. "Wait a minute…how come you and not me? Unless I get to see him and touch him, I will not believe."
II.
I grew up in the First Baptist Church of Los Angeles, a very moderate American Baptist church.
One year when I was in high school, Billy Graham came to town to lead a crusade, and our youth group decided to attend.
So I found myself one Friday night in a car driven by Lois MacKaig, the mother of one of the more zealous members of our group.
But Lois was more zealous by far. Most of us said grace over supper, but the Mackaigs seemed to pray without ceasing. They never missed a church meeting and they read the Bible as often as the rest of us read the comic pages.
So there we were at the Billy Graham Crusade. We sang a number of hymns. Then Billy Graham preached for about forty-five minutes. The theme of his sermon was how important it was for each of us to know Jesus personally, almost like Thomas needing to see Jesus. Telling us how important it was to have the living Lord in our hearts.
After the sermon we sang many verses of "Just as I am without one plea" while a number of people walked forward to give their lives to Jesus.
Then we drove home. Lois MacKaig graciously dropped off each of her passengers at their own homes, and then because we lived in the same neighborhood, she took me home last.
Maybe because I was the preacher's kid, just before she dropped me off, Lois Mackaig got very quiet, and then she said this:
"I've been a Christian all my life, but I don't know that I've ever had Jesus in my heart."
Then she pulled over in front of my house, and I thanked her and got out of the car and went inside.
I thought about how she sounded. Disappointed.
III.
Say this for disappointed Thomas, doubting Thomas, he gets what he asks for. A week after Thomas' speech of disappointment, Jesus comes through the doors, says "Peace" and then speaks to Thomas.
"Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe."
We don't know whether Thomas actually touches Jesus or whether in his case seeing is believing. What we do know is that Thomas then speaks the deepest and strongest claim about Jesus that we find in any gospel: "My Lord and my God."
Disappointed Thomas is disappointed no longer.
But then there is one more surprise. Just when we might have thought Jesus would say: "Blessed are you Thomas; now you have seen; now you believe."
Instead, Jesus says, "Thomas, have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe."
IV.
Blessed are those who see, but even more blessed are those who believe without seeing.
We can understand why John included these words in his gospel. When he writes his gospel Jesus crucifixion is long past and the generation of those who knew the earthly Jesus first hand is passing away. Even those who saw the risen Lord are passing from the scene.
Those who remain need to have faith without actually seeing. And when they think about the first generation they're apt to be a little jealous, a little disappointed.
John wants to tell them that believing does not depend on seeing.
"I don't know that I've ever had Jesus in my heart," said Lois Mackaig, disappointed. At seventeen I did not know what to say, so I said "Thank you," and closed the car door.
Now that I have lived more years than she had lived then, what would I tell her?
I think I'd tell her what John's Gospel says: that there can be a blessing for those who do not see but still believe.
V.
Sometimes, John's Gospel says, the blessing is found in witness, telling, bearing witness.
We may not get to see Jesus, but we get to hear about Jesus. We get to tell Bible stories and hear Bible stories; we get to tell about Jesus and hear about him, too.
Witness.
In the first church where I served I was still enough smitten with the delights of formal theological studies that I thought I should share my insights with the congregation—all my insights.
One Sunday I preached a particularly elaborate sermon on the relationship between justification and sanctification in Christian life, paying special attention to the contrast between the Gospel of Matthew and Paul's letter to the Galatians.
Afterwards one of the worshippers took my hand. Then she looked me straight in the eye, and quoted the words of the familiar gospel hymn: "Tell me the old, old story," she said. And then she headed out the door.
That's what we do when we don't see Jesus or feel him in our hearts. We tell the old old story, and the new stories that make sense in the light of the old story. We talk to one another. We listen to one another. We witness.
"Blessed are those who have not seen but yet believe."
VI.
And there is another way in John's Gospel where those who have not seen may yet believe.
People come to faith in John's Gospel because they come to one another.
Just before his appearance to Thomas in our passage, Jesus has told the other disciples who they are to be to one another. "He breathed on them and said to them, "Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of others, they are forgiven."
The disciples are told to turn to one another—to be Christ to one another if you will—to confess their sins and their longings, to hear, to forgive, to reconcile. Even when they don't see him they see each other, and in seeing each other they grow their faith in him.
A few years ago I attended the memorial service for my friend Jane.
The minister struggle to find words to show gratitude for her life. Like Thomas, like Lois Mackaig, like many of us, I suspect Jane was a little disappointed that she hadn't been clearer about having Jesus in her heart, seeing Jesus for herself.
The minister remembered two gifts Jane had that he could affirm. He remembered her love of music, especially Broadway musicals, which she memorized and sang enthusiastically.
And her unconditional love for all who knew her. So he found the words from the musical Les Miserables:
And remember the words that once were spoken
To love another person is to see the face of God.
Not the whole truth, perhaps, but truth enough for that day. Blessing on those of us who want to believe, even when we do not see.
VII.
We believe because we witness and bear witness.
We believe because we love one another and are loved.
Which is to say what John's Gospel also says: We believe because we are church.
Church-- the community where we tell the story and hear the story; where we forgive and are forgiven; where we turn to one another in compassion and in hope.
Church—where we walk by faith and not by sight.
Thomas; have you seen and believed? Blessed are those who do not see but believe all the same.
Church.
VIII.
Blessed are those who do not see and yet believe.
I returned to the First Baptist Church of Los Angeles about ten years ago. A few weeks before my visit Lois Mackaig had died. Ninety years old, full of years.
I do not know whether in the years I had been gone she had got over her disappointment. I do not know whether she would have said she had Jesus in her heart.
I do know the witness of the church members who knew her through those years. She still read her Bible. She still prayed. Above all she still loved her family, and her friends, and her church.
I do know what Jesus says elsewhere in John's Gospel: "I am going away, but I will come and take you to myself that where I am, you may be also."
I do know what the apostle Paul says: "For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now we know in part, but then we will know fully, even as we have been fully known."
I do know Jesus' words to those who are willing to believe even though they don't yet see:
"Blessed are you," says Jesus.
Blest.
Amen.